My Secret Public Journal

Half of me wants to stay right where I am, in this stressful place because it’s all that I know....

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 11:39:15 -0400

Half of me wants to stay right where I am, in this stressful place because it’s all that I know. There’s something comforting in daily routine and sameness. Like perhaps everything isn’t as bad as it appears, that maybe these things just take time to fix themselves. The other half wants me to leave and never come back, to forget everything about this place that I call home and settle somewhere else. Somewhere where no one knows me and I can live as I please without any questions or criticism.

Do you ever feel trapped?

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 11:15:23 -0400

Do you eveer feel trapped? So trapped that you don’t even know if you’re really happy or just familiar? Lately, I can’t seem to tell the difference. I mean, sometimes he makes me smile. But others i have to fake it. I don’t think I want to go back to what I had before him, though. I just wish I handled things differently. Maybe if I had closure, I wouldn’t feel this way. Things just got too serious too fast. I should be happier, I know. I just don’t think I can fake it much longer.

alecxinwonderland: ♡♧♤♡

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 11:00:15 -0400

alecxinwonderland:

♡♧♤♡

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Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:29:31 -0400

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Sun, 07 Oct 2012 11:51:14 -0400

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Sun, 30 Sep 2012 16:22:09 -0400

Breakdown.

Sun, 30 Sep 2012 16:11:45 -0400

I hate school. I hate school work. I hate actual work. My job sucks. My manager is a cunt. I don’t really care for people. I don’t want to do anything. I’m overwhelmed. I’m tired. I have no time to do anything. I always have to be somewhere. I’m broke. Really broke. My car always needs gas. I get lost way too easily. I have no friends. I can never say the right thing. Everything I do is wrong. I didn’t say a word today, no one noticed. I feel pressured. I’m sad. Thank you.

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Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:01:52 -0500

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Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:06:45 -0500

story of my life.

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 19:41:55 -0500

story of my life.

Audio

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 14:52:48 -0500

Fuck you for listening to me. For telling me everything. For texting me. For calling me to hang out....

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 21:35:15 -0500

Fuck you for listening to me. For telling me everything. For texting me. For calling me to hang out. For giving me things. For spending time with me. For telling me you miss me. For wanting me in your life. Fuck you for leading me on and not even realizing. For showing me a part of you that you don’t show too often. Fuck you for not letting any of these things mean nearly as much to you as they do to me.

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Sun, 11 Dec 2011 12:12:11 -0500

sabrinareneeee: ! <3

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 20:50:13 -0500

sabrinareneeee:

! <3

gotdacake: When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m...

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 22:40:19 -0500

gotdacake:

When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.

-this goes against my sequence, but i love this bitch<3

It kills me how you talk to her. She doesn’t know you like I do. It isn’t fair how she...

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 19:42:27 -0500

It kills me how you talk to her. She doesn’t know you like I do. It isn’t fair how she makes you feel so carefree. Life isn’t like that. She doesn’t see the things I do when I’m with you. She doesn’t experience you in the same ways that I have. Of course your relationship is effortless; you don’t know each other. When we fight, it kills me. It kills me because I know you have the power to sever ties. I don’t want that. I’ll never want to be without you. But you just feel that way about her and frankly, my heart can’t break for you anymore.

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Sun, 04 Dec 2011 19:37:00 -0500

Love is a stupid concept. Give all of yourself to another person and trust them not to break you....

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 19:35:04 -0500

Love is a stupid concept. Give all of yourself to another person and trust them not to break you. When they break you, and they WILL break you, you become everything you swore you would never be. In the end, everyone learns the same lesson; trust no one. Not even yourself.

You’re a fucking idiot. I cared about you so much, I would have done anything for you. I...

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 19:29:48 -0500

You’re a fucking idiot. I cared about you so much, I would have done anything for you. I counted on you and confided in you. You were the one I turned to when the world went dark. I thought I could trust you, I ignored the voices telling me you weren’t different. You turned out to be just like all the rest. I trusted you and you used me.

Look, Hun, keep running your mouth. Keep talking shit like it don’t stink. You’re more...

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 21:35:54 -0500

Look, Hun, keep running your mouth. Keep talking shit like it don’t stink. You’re more obsessed with that boy than I could ever pretend to be. Life lesson: The more you try to make me look insane, the crazier your fat ass seems. I’m just looking out. Unlike you, I’m gunna keep it real. Yeah, I like him, but you love him. You cry over him. Still. Get your fat ass over the mountain you’re stuck behind because ya done. Before me, no one payed any mind to you. Now after me, ya still alone. Chew on that because you’ll never have what I do. You claim you didn’t care that much at the time. So please, explain to me why the fuck you cried so hard. Why the fuck you still try and talk to him. Ad PLEASE. Eplain to me why the FUCK you talk so much shit about me to him. You’re a low life and you will be alone untill you change. Sweetie, you suck.